If we have ever met but haven’t caught up in a while, you’ll likely be unsurprised to learn I am not yet 6″2 or even 5″3. I remain as tall as I was aged 12. If we haven’t met in person: hi, I’m not very tall. No, shorter than that. Yup.  Now you know.

Anyway, you’ll now likely be unsurprised to learn I occasionally get offers of help at the supermarket. Sometimes tall blokes will say things like “need a hand love?” On other days I get asked if I’m ok by very much older women who were once taller, or like, have a centimetre on me, but are nonetheless optimistic about having better reach. Almost every time, though, I say thank you and no, because I need practice. I like to solve my own problems when I can, thus I have systems, since tall or slightly taller people are not always reliably on hand.

Top Shelf Fishing.
1) I always take my hiking (ahem walking) stick. It has a loose fabric wrist handle thingamy, which is important.
2) Lower the handle of the walking stick over the item, especially bottles.
3) Hold the stick so the fabric bit of the handle drops around the neck of the item.
4) Twist the stick until the fabric handle tightens into a little noose.
4) Gently drag the item forward or lower using the stick until the item is within reach.
5) Et voila item has been captured and obtained. Top shelf fishing expedition successful.

Rock concert.
If I can’t see the thing I require, I hold up my phone above my head facing towards the shelf and take a picture to see if the item I need is even up there, like people holding lighters (or phones) up at a concert. Then if it’s there, I reach for the box if the item is hiding up the back. Like Uncle Steve Beerenberg chutney. I know you’re up there and I’m not settling for the inferior Garry, or even the Lois, even though I have a soft spot for that particular name. And yeah, all their products have names. It’s a thing.

Last resort.
Get help. I do not want to do this. I resent the fact that help is occasionally required when everything in the supermarket should be accessible.

Final Sanction.
The last option is to bother to complete the customer service store survey. This is where I mention, again, the potential health and safety risks to staff and dangers to customers regarding placing heavy 2 litre bottles of popular items on the highest shelves where people like me have to invent entire systems to reach them.

And there you go.